Karma is a salty bitch isn’t she?

The whole Karma thing kind of throws me. Seriously, some undefined, unexplained, something controls what goes on? I’m more of a ‘G-d don’t like ugly’ kind of girl although I’ve got no real proof there either. I just refuse to put any blame on G-d. I try not to piss the big man upstairs off. So something is at work and I might as well blame it on Karma.

And she is a salty little bitch isn’t she?

As long as Karma isn’t aiming her claws at me, I must say that I dig her. Although I know that life isn’t always fair, I prefer that it is more often than not. So Karma, with her great equalizing powers, really appeals to me. She does some good work. See if you agree.

A few weeks ago, I was buying a gift for my husband’s birthday. He’s always wanted a straight edge razor shave from this really old school place not far from us so off I went. The joint is two steps up with a really heavy door. While I was inside amongst the issues of Playboy and Esquire (hello, old school) I saw this late thirtyish, complete douchebag cut off an elderly gentleman to get in the door. Forget about holding the door for him, Delta Bravo (code for douchebag) practically knocked the elderly gentleman over. I rushed over and helped the older man in and I was thanked profusely just because I was a decent human being.

And then Karma stepped in.

Delta Bravo realized he forgot something and charged back out the door. He was so busy spewing some kind of bullshit on his phone that he forgot about those two steps.

SPLAT! Delta Bravo down.

The Israelis have a saying: Lo Mashirim ptzueim bashetach-Never leave casualties in the field. A decent human being would have checked to be sure that he was okay because it was a hard fall. But the decent human being in me had left the building. Delta Bravo was on his own. So I did what seemed appropriate.

I laughed. Out loud. Really hard.

In my defense, I have that kind of warped sense of humor where I think it’s hilarious when someone falls. Slapstick is my best friend although not those annoying Stooges. One of the funniest moments I can think of is when I forgot to tell my husband that I took the bath mat out of the tub. He got into the shower and went down with an “Aaargh” and a thud a la Charlie Brown. Hilarious.

But I digress. Getting back to the story at hand, I have to believe that Karma was laughing with me because this was clearly her work. We were soul sisters for a moment. Until I realized that laughing at Delta Bravo’s pain was not cool no matter how much he had it coming. Never leave a casualty in the field. And if Karma is the salty bitch that I suspect that she is, I’ve got a problem. You know how those bitchy girls can be.

Ruthless.

And she knows that I laughed when my husband slipped in the shower. And that I’m laughing just thinking about it now.

Crap. I’m screwed.

I’ll be the one who walks into the door while I’m looking over my shoulder waiting for Karma to strike. Feel free to laugh. Just be aware that you might be the next target for Karma the salty bitch because she is the great equalizer. G-d might not like ugly but he clearly digs Karma.

So do I. I just hope she’s loyal to her friends. Xoxo Karma. You rock.

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