So yesterday, thanks to my son, I discovered that I am actually Satan. Well, he called me the devil but aren’t they one in the same? I don’t know. You tell me.
Here’s what I do know. When my son threw a tantrum in the drop off line at school yesterday, I did put the car in gear and opt to drive around until he calmed down. (I don’t know why either. I agree. I should’ve just gotten him out of the car and out of my hair). So I say that makes me a moron of a decision maker but not Satan.
I do know that once I put my car into gear to drive out of the drop off line, my son leaned in the front seat and grabbed the gear shift. He then proceeded to throw the car into another gear.
In the drop off line.
At 8:00 a.m
In front of half of the school I swear.
Thankfully I got my foot on the brake at the same time as I let out a less than mother of the year, expletive filled direction to my son. The fact that I didn’t mow down half the drop off line makes me a master multitasker. A superhero really. Not Satan.
I also admit that I told my son he’d been banned by the school from the drop off line for a week because of how he acted. (Again, what is wrong with me? Now I have to look for parking for a week.) Awesome. So that makes me a masochist because I think the street cleaning bans are back in effect, so parking will be Hellified. Not Satan though. Just completely stupid.
Lastly, I admit that after recounting these events for my son’s teacher, I asked if she thought it was to early for a glass of wine. Who cares that it was 8:10 a.m? It’s 5 o’clock somewhere. Besides, she’s a preschool teacher. You can’t convince me a glass of wine hasn’t crossed her mind at 8:10 a.m.
That’s why I like her.
And in my mind that makes me a cool mom. ( That’s a lie).Not Satan.
So my son called me the devil. Until I bought him a Happy Meal for dinner last night because we were running late. Then I was “as beautiful as a rainbow.” And we talked about what had happened and hugged it out. Then we had a great evening.
So I may not be Satan but I certainly made a deal with him in the drive through lane of McDonalds.
That just makes me human. And as beautiful as a rainbow so whatever. I’m a brilliant rainbow.
By the way Satan, yesterday morning probably proved that you live within me. I might see you in the drop off lane in the future if my child ever goes bat shit crazy and touches anything in the front seat of my car again. Yup. I’ll be in touch.